Virtual Arrest

This is a small attempt to up the ante until the GJC. I am citing some people below, who I consider my good friends and with a belief that they can tolerate my nuisance. I can say with my hand on my heart that, but for them I would have been  much happier.

Today is Anna’s ‘Jail Bharo’ day. I had earlier registered in the web site to show my willingness to get arrested. So, I went out this morning and tried all stunts like parking on the wrong side, going the wrong way in a ‘no entry’ road and many such things but no one cared, no one arrested me. In my desperation I did not know what to do to get arrested. I sat in the middle of the road. And in a few minutes I heard a siren approaching. It was an ambulance. They tried picking me up.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked.

“Mental hospital” they replied.

Hyderabadi

This is a forward from a mail received from D.S.Kumar(794)

This is one of the classiest Hyderabadi joke you may ever come across..... It's an old Hyderabadi nugget...  Enjoy this, it is really funny if u know Hyderabadi slang!

In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny.  His name is Chotu.  His father is ambitious to educate Chotu. Chotu goes to school located in Tappachabutra. Its  principal  is educated in Urdu high school and claims that he passed tenth class!

There  is  a  school  inspection  the  next  day and the conversation is as follows:

School Bully

When you were in school, did you have somebody who was a bully? Well, my time, we did.

His name is Siva Charan Singh (705) and he would invoke fear into the hearts of all that were smaller or younger than he. That is, until the day he made me cry.

I was in 6^th standard and Singh was 2 years older than I. I remember one day our usual game of hide and seek was well under way in the Palace. Singh was also playing with us. But he taunted me with his unpleasantness. He was calling me names and, most importantly, he was calling me the worst word possible. He was calling me a tuss. (Rhymes with the word puss as in "Puss in Boots.”) His ridicule was more than I could stand and I started to cry. He called me a sissy and I could not stand it any more and I kicked him. Kicked him hard, you know where?

School is a Jail

The following is a true story. When we were in school, we thought that it was a Central jail. For close to six months we were not allowed to cross the borders of our campus.

We all have that one special bizarre story from our lives that we like to tell at parties; mine is about the time, I was in 11^th standard in school.

I was arrested for being drunk 10 KM from where I was supposed to be sleeping.

It was 2:00 AM in the morning. My parents, who were residing in Vizayanagaram, were woken by a phone call from a complete stranger. As my mother answered, the caller slurred,

"Hi, Maa? It's me. . . . I'm in jail for being drunk"

Takers can't Sleep

"There are two kinds of people in the world:  givers and takers.

Takers might eat well, but givers sleep better at night."    Aha!

……Psalm 813 T.Ravi 

I had a tough time sleeping lately.  I thought it might have something to do with the happiness of keeping pace with an almost bursting-at- the-seems, workload.  Or, the joy of going out along with the family. Or the thrill of somehow trying to earn a few Rupees to keep my ever-so- friendly and oh-so-understanding Bank manager from gleefully filling registered letters all over my mail box with polite reminders of legal action. 

Or the excitement of renovating the old ties with fellow saikorians.

Now I came to understand that my lack of sleep is from TAKING too much and not giving enough.  So I had decided to GIVE  as much as I could. And not take anything.

Vengence Unexpected

It was a nice, sunny afternoon and I was driving along in my car when there suddenly came a whoosh and a bang and I discovered that the rear right wheel had somehow managed to lose it buoyancy.

I knew that life was full of surprises; all one needed to do was explore-so I decided to explore. Dismounting from my car, I found the wheel to be in a state of acute depression, looking like our cricket team after another loss. I pulled out the jack and was engaged in the complicated maneuver of turning its handle, when there was another whoosh and a bang.

Something smashed into me and I slipped, pretty badly, into oblivion.

Ingenious India

Hi-Tec puja

                                            Beauty  Parlour at home

                                          Bike crazy youth

                                          When Power Fails

                                         Fishing is Boring

                                               Voter is addicted to TV

                                               More is Good

                                          Holy Dung

                                       
                                          My Indian Standard Weight

                                         Out of Funds for the walls

                                          WOW!!!

                                         Women Power

                                       
                                         Cinema without Scientific Laws

                                                               Can anyone understand Indians????

Karma of Email

BHAGVAD GITA- ADHYAY-19

Arjun : Hey Vasudev, how can I do the most heinous and unpardonable act of forwarding  email that I receive, to my friends, relatives and revered elders ?

Krishna: Paarth, at this moment, none of them is your friend or foe, relative or in-law, young or old and good or evil. You have no escape from following your Net-Dharma. Make haste to log on and send off the email to one and all.
That is the only Karma expected of you and Dharma you must follow.

Arjun: Hey Murari! Do not implore me to do something that pricks my conscience and stirs my soul.

Krishna: O Kunti-Putra, you are caught in the vicious circle of  Maya. In this material world, you are committed to no one except to yourself, your Dharma and your mouse.  Emails have existed for the last 25 years and will remain long after you are gone. Rise above the Maya and perform your bounden duty.

Arjun: Lord Krishna, pray and enlighten me on how email is related to Maya.

Krishna: Vatsa,  email is the 6^th element in the universe – Aap, Vaayu, Jal, Agni, Aakaash and  email. It is at the same time animate and inanimate, living and dead beat. It overloads the system and fills up the hard disk. But it serves one great purpose. It leads people to believe that they are filling their time in an intellectual pursuit by reading and re-forwarding mail. It gives them a sense of achievement without investing their intellect and efforts. Like the Atman that leaves one’s physical body and moves on to another, the  email moves from system to system and never gets deleted or dies.

Arjun: Great Giridhaari, kindly tell me what the true attributes of  email are.

Krishna: Neither fire can burn it, nor air can evaporate it. Neither can it be conquered nor can it be defeated.  email is omnipresent and immortal like your noble and eternal soul. Unlike an arrow shot from your bow, many a time the email forwarded by you, will even return to you safely after some months or even years, allowing you to re-re-forward it to the same people.    

Arjun: Great Saarathi, my salutations to you. You have opened my eyes to the cult of email. I was lost in the Maya and have been reading all the email that I keep receiving and doing no other Karma. Now on, I will just press the "Forward" button without reading any of it and send it to all and sundry, friends and foes, relatives and in-laws, young and old. That will surely bring them to their knees in this epochal battle of Good against Evil, at Kuruk-shetra.  

Krishna: Arjuna, victory or defeat is not in your hands. Do not ponder over the fruits of your labour. Just keep forwarding  email and make one and all go bananas reading it and you will have done your supreme duty.
Tathastu.  

Thus Spake ... Lord Krishna.!!!!.

and so Ravi (813) forwarded this mail here.

When I lost my Email-2

It was almost a week since I complained at the 3 Town police station about the theft of my Email. Miss Alima, I presumed was very busy with many other cases.

I was experiencing a feeling of loss, which cannot be explained. I started waking up earlier to check if my Email works. And each time it doesn’t, I did mundane things like Dainhe mood, Peechay mood or Tej chal. I even tried shaking my CPU, until it made weird sounds. But still my Email was dead. Then suddenly I received a call from Miss Alima, her beautiful voice was so refreshing to hear.

“Mr. Ravi?”

“Yes, Maam.. err Miss”

“I called Mr.Sekhar and D.S. Kumar for interrogation at my office at 10 A.M, it would be better if you are there too”

“But Miss, don’t you think they will hate me for doing this to them, they might even plot and kill me.”

“Mr. Ravi do you want your Email back?”

“Yes , Yes Miss, of course”

“Then 10 A.M. at my office”

Bubbles of Nostalgia

Somehow I became very nostalgic last night. My past popped up in my head like bubbles. I had a very humble beginning. We were three brothers; our Dad was an engineer in the Railways earning quite a good salary in those days. But he had the responsibility of looking after his four brothers and two sisters, who were still unsettled in life. So, it was tough life for us. But to be frank, we never felt the need for more, we were completely content. May be it was because we were imbibed with the quality of never to compare with others. We were content with what we had.

Perpetual Bakra Singh