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Mar 31, 2012

Sachin's century


This is a mail I received with some additions.



The media went crazy with Sachin's hundredth ton. Does it deserve all this hype?
Tendulkar's Century. 
 Fictitious comments ascribed to national politicians.

1. Digvijay Singh – Sachin is an RSS agent. All these days he was waiting to score his century against a Muslim country.
2. Manmohan Singh – I congratulate Sachin and also appreciate leadership of Shrimati Sonia Gandhi.
3. Rahul Gandhi – My grandmother created Bangladesh. She deserves the credit for this century.
4. Raj Thakrey – Sachin has proved himself to be a true Marathi Manus after scoring this century. So what if India has lost, Maharashtrians can not take the responsibility of the whole nation
5. Mulayam Singh Yadav – If Sachin was from UP, I would have made tickets of all Cricket matches ‘Tax free’.
6. Anna Hazare – Sachin deserves to be the next lokpal of the country.
7. Baba Ramdev – If you multiply all the runs Sachin has made by a billion is what is the total black money in foreign country.
8. Kapil Sibbal – Social media need to control comments on Sachin’s century. It will harm the fabric of secularism in India.
9. Swami Agnivesh – Now that Bangladesh has helped Sachin score his 100th century, they have proved to be a true friend of India. Lets welcome their citizens to India and let them live wherever they can. Let us issue them Voter’s ID cards
10. Kris Shrikant – We selectors hope that by 2050, Sachin will also score his 150th century.
11. Arjun Tendulkar – I want to play with my father in 2020 world cup.
12. Sachin Tendulkar himself – Aaeellaaaa…. Now what excuse I will make to not retire.
13. Sonia Gandhi – Er….. She did not respond since she is suffering from an undisclosed disease.
14. Karunanidhi.......Who is Sachin Tandulkar? Is he a God responsible for Ram Sethu?
15. Jayalalitha.....Sometimes Sashikala could have been right. She said something about this guy. I ignored it as I thought that he was a Bollywood filmstar... In any case Dr. MGR was a better player.
16. Kiran Kumar Reddy- I recognize Sachin's achievement as a cricket player myself, I shall allot half of all the liquor shops in Vizianagaram and Srikakulam, belonging to Botsa to Sachin.
17. This is gross injustice, when Telangana youth have scored a century in suicides, no one noticed. Jai Telangana.
But the best one indeed from Mamata which appeared in some Bengali daily:
She said- I was not consulted in advance on such massive score hike, hence the century should be rolled back to 90. She also demanded if it is not rolled back or withdrawn by weekend, Sachin should be replaced in the team by MadanMuloRoy or Sapun Das Gupta, Mukil Chaterjee or at least Some Banerjee.
And last but not the least- 
18. Saikors group- Does anyone have any contacts in this sector, my septic tank is full and has to be cleaned.


Mar 23, 2012

When I lost my Email


On February 23rd I lost my Email. I did not realize that until a couple of days. I just thought that the rest of the world had just gone to sleep. Neither were there any messages from saikors group nor anywhere else. That was exactly the time I was waiting in anticipation for positive reaction to my appeal for help for two unfortunate girls. There was total silence. The silence was so loud that it could move our tectonic plate a few feet further towards China. Then I knew that there was something amiss. But I could not figure out what was wrong. Poor neurons in my brains vibrated so much that I had a headache. Due to sheer helplessness I downed some pints of rum and went to bed.
The next morning I did not want to trouble my neurons. I checked my mail.
Blank.
I tried to send myself a mail.
No chance.
I tried to send myself a mail from other Gmail, Hotmail and Yahoo accounts. But they are going into oblivion. Then I remembered that someone told me that to fix a problem with your computer, you just have to shut it down and restart. I did it once, twice, thrice. But still my Email account was acting dead. I was totally frustrated. Could it be software problem? Or, a hardware problem, man-made problem or just an act of GOD.

Mar 19, 2012

Why Women?



This is an answer to Women s' Rights wing, who asked "Why only women in calenders?"
Now you know why.








Film on Mahabharat


I had applied to the Government of India for financial assistance to produce a movie on Mahabharata and even submitted the script.
This is the reply I received from them:


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