How to surprise your wife?

Last Saturday I was late to reach home. For a 7 day working schedule, I prefer to say TGIS (Thank God it is Saturday). One old buddy invited me to his house for a round of drinks.

“A round of drinks means you drink until your head goes round and round” he said. He is a jolly good fellow and a good golfer too. His head is as clean as a golf ball. He is a very good entertainer and a very talkative person. I, being a very good listener, is a reason that cuts a chord between us. I find his jokes very funny. I make sure that I don’t have any drink in my mouth at the point of his ‘punch line’ lest I would spill it on his carpet. It happened a few times, and he dutifully hands me a napkin suggesting me to clean up. I do.

So, that was why I was late. My head was not only going round and round, but also in triangles, squares and many other shapes. I enter my home with a key that I always have with me, and found my home exceptionally silent. TV was off, computer was shut down. No shouts of fighting and squabbling. Lights were put off. I had to step out and check the flat number painted outside to make sure if it was my own apartment.

Faking News by unknown authors

SWISS ECONOMY COLLAPSES AFTER PAWAR OPTS OUT OF SPECTRUM PANEL

Several Swiss bankers drowned themselves in Lake Geneva after learning that respected heavyweight Sharad Pawar has opted out of India’s Spectrum Allocation Panel. Slated to be the biggest money-making opportunity in India in the month of July, Pawar’s actions have left well-wishers aghast. Questions have been raised about his sanity, in very soft voices.  ”He has had a long and glorious innings,” said one expert, “But it looks like that razor-sharp brain is no longer what it was.”

Swiss sources denied that Pawar had taken this step because the banks are full. “We created another basement specially for him,” said one weeping customer relations executive. “Now all I hear are my footsteps echoing in an empty hall.”

The Swiss prime minister, who chose to remain anonymous, has advised against panic. “Our fundamentals remain strong,” he said, “As do those of Mr Pawar.”

Twinkle twinkle little star

Greatest Story Ever Told

My Search for Truth

This is a short story written by my Father. Mr. T.V.N.Rao. My parents are now in Melbourne for a holiday.

My name is Maulboyheenner. A long time ago, my friend Tunnerminnerwait and I were convicted of the crimes of arson and murder, condemned to death and hanged. The hangings took place in the present day Queens Market area of Melbourne. We were buried there. Arson and murder are, no doubt, heinous offenses and we deserved to be hanged. But, why did we commit these terrible crimes?

I am a Tasmanian. One day, whilst I was hunting near my seaside village, I was captured by some heavily armed, white skinned men. I was tied up and dragged to the shore. I was shackled to scores of other captives, loaded into a small boat and taken across the sea to this far off place. On that fateful day I lost my family. And my freedom. I lost them forever. What happened to me thereafter is another story but from that day onwards I was consumed with a desire for revenge. Which explains the arson and murder.