All's Well that Ends Well

During the Cold War days, if the USA launched a nuclear missile, Soviet satellites would detect it and their army, in less than 5 seconds makes a counter-attack.

That was the scenario then.
Now, imagine a similar situation between India and Pakistan.

(Disclaimer: If we laugh at our self, it would help improve our health, and if we laugh at our neighbor, it would improve our health much more.) 

A General from the Pakistan army decides to launch a nuclear-missile towards India. He doesn’t require any permission from his government, and the ISI promptly orders the countdown.
                           

                                        

                                                    (Pakistani army posing before the missile to be launched at India)

Indian technology and intelligence is highly advanced. India knew of the launch 15 days in advance.
Home minister Shinde promptly sends a fax to all state capitals saying “There is a very high possibility of Pakistani nuclear missile attack on India. It might strike anywhere and at any time. Now don’t blame me for intelligence failure.”
The supreme commander of the armed forces, the President calls the Prime Minister and urges him to convene an emergency Cabinet meeting to decide on how to deal with the situation.

The Prime Minister instead rushes to 10 Janpath to consult Madam.

Madam calls congress vice president Rahul and they decide that the opposition should be included in the decision making so that, if something went wrong, they would alone, not be blamed. Sonia pats Rahul for the wonderful idea. All cabinet ministers hail Rahul,
“But for Rahul we did not know what to do, we were clueless” they admitted.
Mean while, Times Now has leaked it to the public. "Our sources confirm that Pakistan is going to launch a nuclear attack on India. We also have an arrangement with Pakistan to show you the live coverage of the launch of the missiles on India. This is exclusive for Times Now, No other TV channel can show you this historic launch. Don’t go away, we shall be back after a short break." they shout so loud that we try to reach our remote to reduce the volume.
                 

            

                                      
Digvijay Singh calls for a press conference and says “Pakistan’s aspirations and frustrations should also be taken into account; It is the RSS and Hindu fanatics that they are after.”
The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. But as the BJP is demanding the resignation of the PM over the latest chicken scam, (some Chinese chicken from Manchuria have intruded into Ladakh and laid eggs for 15 days and they claim that the PM is silent on that issue.) They boycott the session.

The left says “If the ITBP people have not made chilly chicken out of the Chinese intruders, we would have asked them for their help now.”

The BSP and the SP says “Any decision on retribution should be made keeping in mind the interests of the minorities”

The President is a worried man, asks for a quick decision from the Parliament.

In the mean time, a missile had been launched from Pakistan and shown live exclusively on Times Now. But to due to some technical snag it kept hovering round and round over Telangana in Andhra Pradesh.

KCR went into hiding in Vijayawada in Andhra with his son and daughter.

An M.P from Telangana says “The missile is hovering over us because Hyderabad was supposed to be part of Pakistan. The sooner they give us Telangana the better for the country.” But very few understood his logic.

Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority as both BSP and SP, which were giving outside support, withdraw over the latest Bullock-cart scam.   (The Government had imported bullock carts from Italy to distribute to the farmers here, but they had only one wheel.)

The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week.
The ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, and is now only a caretaker government.
The missile is still hovering and Pakistan decides to launch another missile.

The Supreme Court, responding to a PIL, says “The Government has made the Armed forces into caged rats.”

The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a counterattack. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government cannot take such a decision because elections have been announced.

The Supreme Court, responding to a PIL comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.
Just then Pakistan launches another missile successfully. Times Now again shows the launch live, including the ISI chief actually pressing the red button for the launch. But this time the missile falls 786 miles away from the target, in the Arabian Sea killing 10 LET terrorists on way to Mumbai to watch a Bollywood movie.
In a heated debate in the Parliament, Soniaji lambastes NDA saying “It is the NDA government that gave a commitment for NO-First-Use of nuclear missiles, and as the missile is still hovering and not struck India, technically they have not struck us yet.”
Finally, better sense prevailed and it was decided to hit Pakistan back with our missiles.
But as preparations begin, "Pro-humanity", "Anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision. Human chains are formed and huge protests organized at India Gate. Endless e-mails are circulated condemning the government, With a plea “For the sake of universal peace, please forward it to as many Indians as possible".
Pakistan on the other side kept on trying to launch other missiles in their arsenal; the missiles kept malfunctioning or deviated from their target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan caused by the heat generated in the Parliament.
As a last resort Pakistan pressed into service a missile (smuggled from North Korea). But the Pakistan army was unable to understand its software; it therefore heads towards its original destination: USA.
The USA successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad. But American policy to keep both India and Pakistan at equal distance, the missile hits a target in the Thar Desert killing an endangerd Indian Bustard) Pakistan cries for help.

India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and offers to send blankets and pillow covers as aid to Pakistan.

Finally, the missile hovering over Telangana loses its steam and falls like a Damp squib in the premises of Krushi Home. The home run by Saikorians for ‘displaced children’.

                    

                                                                            The missile that fell in Krushi Home

And it becomes a tourist spot, where millions of people come every day to see the fallen missile. Our Saikorians get a grand idea and collect a gate fee from all the visitors and make crores of rupees for Krushi
“All’s well that ends well.”