Scamless

48 Hrs without a scam-Nation in deep shock.

Saikorian Correspondent | Oct 3, 2012, 08.44PM IST

NEW DELHI: In a shocking development, India has gone a full 48 hours without a new scam being reported. There was uproar in Parliament over the lethargy shown by the government in the field of corruption. 

 

The leader of the opposition in the Lok Sabha said: "India is among the world's top countries in terms of scams and corruptions. However, the shocking lack of any new scam being reported in two days shows the government is not serious about stealing from the poor." She then rushed to the well of the House screaming, "All is well". UPA leaders countered her with chants of "Shuuush, Ma! Shuuush, Ma!" 

SP leader Mulayam Singh was heard telling both parties he'll support them at all costs (highest bidder).

Later, TMC leader Mamata Banerjee called a press conference to condemn this 'shocking attempt at honesty and clean governance'. She said her party would move a no-confidence motion against the UPA government but, unfortunately no one in the press conference understood her accent.

Official spokesman Kapil Sibal, in an attempt to cover up his party's failure said " It is not 48 hours without a scam, it is 1,72,800 seconds. As such there is zero loss but the Government without a scam for so long will come out stronger with bigger ones soon."

Veteran Congress leader Digvijay Singh, was so upset with his government that he has now done a U turn and sent his CV to RSS for a job commensurate with his skills and experience. He even mentioned in his CV that his greatest achievement was when supercomputer PARAM blew up when it was fed with all his speeches. 

Arwind Kejriwal said that it was a diversionary tactics of the Government from the most important event in the country, which is ‘the formation of his political party.’

The media too unleashed a series of editorials slamming the lack of scams. "What will we print?" was the popular question. Some news channel anchors were seen frothing at the mouth and screaming for answers but experts said this was normal behavior. Some news channels started airing Charlie Chaplin films to burn time. 

Shaken by the developments, the Prime Minister addressed the nation live and promised to tackle the situation after the go-ahead from Madam. He first apologized for his statement: "Money doesn't grow on trees." He said: "Clearly, I was mistaken. Money does grow on trees. However, these trees are only found in the homes of people with stakes in 2G and coal mines."

The PM promised that judicious use of the RTI act, sting operations by TV channels and vague reports by the CAG will soon bring more scams to light. "It is inevitable," he said.

Meanwhile, to give citizens other things to focus on, the government raised the price of fuel. "I like raising the price of fuel every now and then. It is a hobby," said petroleum minister Jaipal Reddy.

The Chief Minister of A.P. KKR said “All credit must go to the great leadership of madam Soniaji and in the history of congress, this is the first such 48 hours without any scams.” Then he added “We shall try to emulate madam Soniaji’s great stewardship and ensure that no minister in my cabinet goes to jail in the next 48 hours.”

Mean while, CBN, who is on a padayatra commented that the congress has lost its moral right to rule the country, because 48 hours without a new scam reflects the shamelessness of that party. He gave a clarion call for an alternative ‘Third front’ to ensure continuous scams.

TRS president KCR said “Now the Government must have time to think about Telengana and I assure you that separate Telangana will be announced in 48 days.”

Anna Hazare has threatened to go on a fast against all RTI activists, CAG and CBI if no new scam is unearthed in the next 12 hours and sources say that he has proceeded to Ramleela grounds right away.

Baba Ramdev too joined the jamboree. He started by congratulating the PM over his miracle - the discovery of speech. Addressing a press conference, the guru told the nation to sit in front of their TVs and vigorously push their stomachs in and out in an attempt to fight corruption.

Sources said by the time you get to read this article; new scams are bound to come to light.