To Form a Team

KKR had a busy day today. He was given a deadline of 6 P.M. to prepare and submit a list of probable ministers for his cabinet to the High Command (read Madam). Madam will then have the final say and select the ministers to assist KKR in making our lives a bit more livable. The fate of 8 Crore ‘Aam-admies’ of Andhra rests on the most powerful lady in India. The ever bearing Goddess of the Congress party. Of course, she will be assisted by the future Prime Minister of our country, who had a magical affect on the electorate in Bihar recently, Gulam Nabi Azadm who was kicked out of Kashmir and our favourite Veerappa Moiley who is as domineering in the party as the statue at Gomateshwar.

Almost all the elected representatives of that party from Andhra are in Delhi since three days. The Hyderabad house at Delhi was too crowded and smelly and so Veerappa Moily decided to shift all of them to Pragati Maidan.

Pragati Maidan looked like a cattle market in any village of Andhra. All breeds of different sizes, from different regions, religions, both male and female are displayed. Each with a tricolour dupatta over their shoulders. The rabble-bubble they created was so intense that the Metrological department almost issued a notification of an earth quake with an epicenter at Delhi. And a Delhite squirmed “Oh these Golties, they are noisier than the Chinese”

KKR is a confidant man, he faced such situations even earlier in his life, when he was the captain of Hyderabad Ranji team and he had to select his team. We all know that he selected Azzaruddin. And now, we know Azzaruddin had fixed matches, made tons of money, married and divorced a Bijalani. So it is a credulous task for him.

There was a steady stream of visitors, almost 200 of the MLAs and MLCs, towing along with them M.Ps, Industrialists, Liquor barons, Real estate tycoons, and Mafia kings. Each trying to convince that they deserve a berth in the cabinet. KKR was writing on a pad some numbers after each visitor. He was giving his assessment ‘marks’ to each of them. It was over-heard that some of them even whispered some sweet nothings in KKR’s ears like an assurance of a guaranteed amount to Madam’s kitty regularly. These representatives were given +80% marks.

A sample interview that went on was that each was asked to say some thing about “Madam”

“Madam Sonia is India, India is madam” some said.

“Madam is Maa Durga…… Holy Mary” some have bawled.

But one gentleman from a remote village said “I am …. I am...” (He was looking for a suitable word)

“About Madam, not about you” shouted KKR.

“I am Madam’s chappal” he shouted. This brought a wry smile on KKR.

So, after this excruciating and painful selection process, KKR had finally decided on a bunch of legislators for his team. He was fully satisfied that he selected a good wicket keeper to stop the bouncers from his own party men. Good bowlers to “body-line” the opposition. Good batsmen to keep feeding the High command. And most importantly, his team should be able to win the next ‘World-cup’ in 2014 with 41 M.P.s.

He walked out of the Pragati Maidan clutching a bunch of papers, when he was mobbed by the media. About a hundred microphones were thrust in front of him to record his golden words. Whole of Andhra was anxiously waiting for this moment. He cleared his throat and said with his trade mark ‘sarcastic’ smile.

“I have finalized a list of legislators to be a part of my team, but I cannot disclose the names before Madam Sonia approves them, so I am going to submit this list to Madam now.”

“Sir Can you at least tell us the composition of your team” prodded a reporter.

He cleared his throat again.

“My team comprises of 86.5% Hindus, 10% Muslims, and 3.5% Christians, 80% are Men and 20% are Women”

He waited a second longer, when

“But Sir…. But Sir” shouts were heard all around.

He continued “32.4% are from Telangana, 30% from Andhra and the rest from my native Rayalaseema.

“But Sir…. But Sir”

“48% are Reddys, 20% are Kammas, 12% Kaapus, 10% BCs, 6% SCs and 4% STs”

“But Sir…. But Sir”

“85% are from Madam Sonia camp and 15% from Jagan’s”

Someone asked him a question, which we did not hear, but

“Yes, yes, Soniaji, Rahulji, Azadji and Moileyji are in the same camp”

He was getting restless and wanted to go

“But sir” shouted a reporter from behind.

KKR stopped and looked back.

“How many of your team members can actually deliver and give us good Governance?”

“No comments” KKR said and walked away.