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Dec 28, 2011

Modern Day Saikorian

It was a cold winter morning. I was awakened by a jingling mobile phone beside my bed. The tune says “Hey Abba, Hey Abba” and it is continuing to ring when my neighbour puts it off and goes back to sleep. I too activated an alarm at 5.30 A.M on my mobile, but his time was a minute faster, so I too went back to sleep not to loose that minute. Then my phone alarm went off. It was very loud and it can be heard upto 50 feet. The Tune for the Alarm is “Get up, Get up it is time for P.T.”


I can see many of my friends groaning and one of them shouted “Stop that bloody thing”. But I am neatly tucked in my bed sheet and trying to take that extra wink. Someone walked up and put my alarm off. Thank you. I pulled myself up and dialed speed dial 1 to my buddy from 8th class. “Where is my tea” I shouted.

A plastic mug full of piping hot tea is presented and I start to sip. My lap top is still on, downloading some movie. I open it and see that I have 5 messages pending. But before I read any of them, today I am not in a mood to go for PT, so I send an email to our house master and I did not forget to attach an old photo of mine in bandages. I was sure, he would be convinced.

Now I have a little more time and so I started to open my mails.
The first is from my Physics teacher, it was a reminder that I have to submit his home work on ‘Elementary concepts of differentiation and integration for describing motion.’ O.K that is fine I just have to search the net and cut-paste some articles.

The second mail was about a “Nancy”, who it said lives very near to me and wants to make friends to me. Oh no! My past experiences of how my computer crashed when I clicked such links came as a flash.  So I kept away.

The third mail is from our Subedar Ranjit Singh. It said that I have to be present at 3.P.M for extra parade. Dressed in NCC attire. And I have to report at the NCC office 15 minutes in advance to collect the .303 rifles and haver-sacks filled with bricks.

Oh shit, but what did I do for this punishment? This is gross injustice. Someone (read house master) is trying to take revenge on me. This cannot be tolerated. So, I immediately go to ‘Pettition.com’ and lodge a complaint. I even send a CC to the Principal, Headmaster and I did not forget to send one to my Dad also.

Just then my message pending icon starts flashing. I open it and it is from my House master, who rejects my claim for bunking P.T and he added that he observed me last night jumping over the fence and so I must be in good health. He even added that this is my 16th time I am trying to escape P.T without any convincing reason and threatened to put my mail in ‘spam’ and so that he need not read it at all in the future.

Oh No, this is not my day I thought. My message icon is flashing again. I have 3 pending messages.

The first is from the Principal, which said that my petition will be looked into soon. Thank you Princi, I love you.

The second is from my Dad. He almost shouted “Shut up and obey the school orders”
Wah! Dad is this the way to support a saikorian son? Next time I will not tell you how difficult it is to attend PT. You must be sipping hot coffee at home. Cool.

The third mail is from my House master. It said that my petition was routed through proper channel to him to investigate and report. He mentioned that it was he who put me for extra-parade. It was because I had accessed IP no 102……. At 11.34 PM last night and that IP address is of a site about “Hot pxxxxxx”.
And that is not all, he replied to all including my Dad.

Oh No, Oh No this School stinks. What will my Dad think of me?

With drooping shoulders I wear my Adidas Green shorts of Gupta house and Nike shoes and drag myself to the Air conditioned Gym for P.T.

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